Complain Less & Thank More

In his sermon last Sunday, John Dale challenged our congregation to make some changes for the new year. Among his suggestions was to "complain less and thank more." This one really struck a chord with me. We seldom take the time to stop and realize just how truly blessed we are. If we look for negatives to complain about we will always find them, but, likewise, if we look for the blessings they are there, too. I am going to try extra hard in 2010 to complain less and thank more with respect to God and to my earthly relationships as well.
It is so easy for wives to complain about husbands (no offense, guys) because all-to-often we look for the negative... for instance, how things don't always get done to our liking or how men don't think like we women think they should.
So, starting today, Jay, I plan to try and look for ways to thank you more and complain less. I'll begin with a list... so if I start to fail in the coming months (or weeks, or days, or hours) I can look back and remember how blessed I really am to have a husband as wonderful as you!
Thank you for
Your fierce loyalty.
Fearing God and being a Christian.
Helping around the house.
Lending a hand with the girls.
Giving me time for myself.
Loving me and our daughters.
Always smiling and looking for the good in people.
Fighting for what is right.
Thank you most of all for working every single day to better yourself for the good of our family, schools, community and church. When I look back over the last ten years I have spent with you I am humbled by the way God has worked in our lives to bring us where we are today. I am proud of you beyond words... your strength, courage and determination amaze me. You are truly a wonderful man and I am so incredibly grateful to have you in my life as my friend, husband and father of our girls. I love you, Jay!

Christmas Concludes

On Monday, Mamaw, PawPaw and Sissy came to Murray for a quick Christmas visit. Eve and Leah were spoiled rotten, as usual, and Eve didn't want any of them to leave! She even locked the front door and blocked their path! :) We were again blessed with lots of good gifts and fun family time. Eve even joined in on game time with her new Princess Yahtzee game from Sissy and by helping with the traditional game of marbles (which Sissy and Mamaw won).
So, soon all the Christmas decor will be down and in storage along with Bob (our "Elf on the Shelf") until next year... hmm... next year... Leah will be toddling around getting into everything and bugging her big sister (instead of the other way around)... I can't hardly wait!!!

Merry Christmas!

The last two days we have had a wonderfully blessed "Stark" Christmas. Yesterday we had the annual Christmas Eve festivities at Grammy and Grandad's house. We are already looking forward to next year when Leah, Scout and Jadyn are toddling one-year-olds trying to keep up with Eve, Zak and Finley!
Today our girls enjoyed presents from Santa. Eve exclaimed, "This is what I have been wanting my whole life!" every time she opened a gift. She helped Leah by opening her gifts while she took a bottle. Tonight we finished our Christmas with a drive through the park to see the lights and Leah's first trip to the movies to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks, 2."
We wish we could have been with the Johnson/White side of our family this weekend, but whirlwind travel with our girls would have been tough. We can't wait for Mamaw, PawPaw and Sissy to come visit us next week, though!! :)

Another Blessing Found

So, I am going back to work tomorrow. I truly feel blessed to have had the last nine weeks at home with Leah and have really enjoyed the time. I don't always like being a working mom and often wish I could stay home. I guess I could stay home if we were to completely change our lifestyle, but we (selfishly) like how we currently live.
Over the last few weeks I have thought a lot about this internal struggle I have about working versus staying home and have come to realize that my need to work goes beyond monetary advantages. I need time to myself... to be something besides a wife and mom.
I've always known that teaching is more than just a job, or even more than a career... it is a role I take on 8 hours a day, 9 months a year and that role matters. It matters to other mothers who entrust me with their children, it matters to my community, it matters to my coworkers who rely on me, it matters to all the children I teach, and it matters to my family that I use my education and skills. I believe that being a good teacher is a God-given talent and is an integral part of who I am as a woman. I need my job to feel complete.
It takes a lot to admit this because with this realization comes guilt. On so many levels my husband and children are more than enough and I feel guilty for even thinking that my job is important. I sometimes think I am supposed to hate working and feel forced to go everyday, but I don't. Most days I look forward to going and spending time with my coworkers (who I am blessed to be able to call some of my closest friends) and I truly love to teach young children. Denying that I enjoy working and that I like my job is like denying a piece of me. Do I have to deny myself completely to be the best mother I can be? I don't think so... in fact I think I am a happier, healthier mother for admitting how I feel and for giving in to that need.
I would be remiss if I didn't add a disclaimer to these thoughts... my feelings might be completely different if my situation changed. I mean, I work from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. five days a week with weekends, holidays and summers off. I have an amazing private babysitter who attends the same church we do and a very giving mother-in-law who is willing to step in and care for my children whenever I need. I also have a husband who works the exact same schedule in the same district who teaches our preschooler four half-days a week. I have a more-than-adequate salary and excellent benefits, and I work in a safe, wonderful school. I realize that as far as a full time job is concerned, being the Title I teacher at M.E.S. is best-case-scenario for me.
My thoughts aren't meant to offend, but merely an outlet for me to express how I have been feeling lately and as a release for the guilt I have felt for working at all and then for realizing that I need it. Every person is different and we all need different things to make us whole... God blesses us all in different ways and I have finally learned to admit that my job is a blessing.
Now, someone will need to remind me of this revelation tomorrow morning when I fight back tears as I leave my precious new baby girl to return to work... I guess I'll always be a mother first. After all that's how it should be and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

Abundantly Blessed

I can't think of one thing not to be thankful for this holiday season! I have a wonderful husband and the two most precious girls. I belong to two amazing families and an outstanding church. I love my home, my job and my friends... life just doesn't get much better than this very moment. THANK YOU, GOD!

Seven Weeks

It is hard to believe that seven weeks ago today Leah was born. In some ways it seems like she has always been here and in others it seems like we have such a long way to go. I guess both feelings are accurate... She has immediately been accepted and has expanded our family perfectly like she has always belonged, but there are lots of diapers (among other less messy things) to be changed on the road to being a preschooler like Eve. Leah is finally starting to get some personality. She is very stingy with her smiles and usually saves them for Eve. Most of the time she has a quiet seriousness about her that makes me wonder just who she will be most like.


Eve is just enjoying being Eve these days. Last weekend she was under the weather so she missed her first "Little Dribblers" performance at "Meet the Tigers." We made "real Lady Tiger basketball" photos instead. :)

This is Leah and her cousin, Scout! It will be so fun to watch these two grow up together now that the Puricellis are back! Eve and Zak have nothing on these two... instead of nearly four months apart in age, Leah and Scout are just four days apart! Scout already looks like the protective older cousin! :)

Kacey thinks Scout may favor his Uncle Jay in this photo and I think Leah favors her Aunt Sarah. What do you think?

Girls' Night In

Daddy went to a Murray High football game tonight (Go Tigers!) so Eve, Leah and I had a "Girls' Night In." In true Johnson tradition we built a tent using quilts and chairs from the dining table. Then we got pillows and a flashlight. Eve enjoyed making shadow puppets and Leah endured a little time on her Boppy in the tent. To cap off the evening we watched The Sound of Music together. Eve was surprisingly captivated by the film and watched most of it. (A girl after my own heart.) In the end, Eve fell asleep in the tent just as the Captain and Maria got married. After all, it is an incredibly long movie!
P.S. Thanks, Mom, for making memories like these with Sarah, Andrew and me. It goes to show that quality time is worth it in the long run when you know your kids pass it on to their kids. I can't wait to see the pictures of Eve and her daughter doing the same, exact things!! (Who knew what an impact quilts, dining chairs, and a 2-tape-long-VHS copy of The Sound of Music bought while Dad was out of town and the video store didn't have a copy to rent would make?)

Happy Halloween!

We had a fun Halloween! Eve had a blast at the Preschool Fall Festival and her school party earlier in the week, but had the most fun with Cousin Zak on Halloween night. Eve was a sweet Sleeping Beauty and Leah was a precious Baby Mouse.

Dinner for Four

No one ever mentioned how difficult it could be to prepare dinner for a family of four! Since high school basketball season is underway, Daddy is busy every afternoon/evening so it is just me and my girls. Last night was my first attempt at cooking supper alone. Leah was abnormally fussy (or "fuzzy" as Eve calls it) and kept spitting out her pacifier. I tried turning her swing thinking the TV might provide some entertainment and then went so far as to pop in a Baby Einstein DVD (this only brought Eve into the room who wanted to watch it). After rushing from the kitchen to put the paci back in about 5 times between cutting up raw chicken, putting pasta on to boil and repeated hand-washing, I had broken a sweat (which I felt compelled to text Jay about... just so he would know)!
Finally, desparate and exasperated, I looked at Eve (who was standing idly in the kitchen) and said, "Could you please go give Leah back her pappy?" Eve replied quite matter-of-factly, "No, I can't because I am trying to ask you a question." Ignoring the baby's cry for the moment I said, "Well, then ask away." Eve asked, "Why did the chicken cross the street?" I smiled and said, "Why?" She answered, "To get to the other side!" then died laughing obviously proud of herself for delivering the punchline.
Just in time for dinner to be done, Leah drifted off to sleep in her swing and Daddy came home to dinner on the table and Eve and me peacefully waiting there. Jay innocently looked around and said, "So things were hectic around here?"
What a winter this will be...
(Just had to include this pic... too cute!)

A Sister's Love

When Jay and I finally decided on the name Leah, I will admit openly that I wasn't sold. I was made even more unsure when I looked up the meaning and found "tired and weary" next to the name Leah. After her two short weeks of life I have found the reason behind the meaning and decided it fits... When you have a 3-year-old big sister it can certainly leave you tired and leave your mother a bit weary. Eve loves Leah so much it makes my heart swell just watching them. On our first night at home Eve insisted on Leah sleeping with her "old bunny." This tattered bunny is Eve's lovey and is her single-most important possession. She was near tears (and so was I) as she demanded we put old bunny in Leah's crib. We finally settled on letting Leah have Eve's "new bunny." Sarah aptly pointed out that Eve loves Leah more than her bunny... now that is love! I know in time Leah will love Eve just as much... and as these pictures show, she will probably have a bit of healthy fear mixed in, too!

One Week Down!

Precious Leah has been in the world for a week now and she is a wonderful addition to our family. Thanks to the help of Mamaw and PawPaw at home and Grammy and Grandad entertaining Eve we have had a successful week. Leah is a healthy eater and pretty good sleeper. :) Eve is a perfect big sister who loves to pet and pester, but always means well. :) I am recovering and am finally starting to feel human again. :) Jay is proud for fall break to be here so that he can finally get in on the fun. :) Of course, we have made lots of photos!

Welcome Baby Sister, Leah!

Leah Faith was born yesterday morning at 7:09 a.m. weighing in at 7 pounds, 5 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. She is absolutely precious (of course)! Her big sister, Eve, was instantly smitten with her. She loves holding her and watching her. It is so sweet to listen to Eve talk to her in low loving tones and love and kiss on her. Eve is alreay becoming a little mommy and Leah is already adjusting to a noisy life with a three-year-old big sister. Jay is slowly realizing that he is now out-numbered 3 to 1 and that he is going to have to brush up on his diapering, swaddling, dressing and hair-styling skills. I am doing great (really)! Leah's labor and delivery were quick and relatively easy. We had wonderful care with our doctor and nurses.
I am enjoying a brief moment alone to write this morning. I know that in the days and weeks to come these moments will be few and far between, but I am okay with that... nothing better with which to be busy than caring for your family and counting your blessings. God is Good All the Time!!

Funny Eve-Isms

I've been jotting down some of the funny things Eve says for a few months... and I've compiled quite a list. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show!!
About the cotton ball clouds that fell off her Sunday School picture, "Oh, no! I lost my meatballs!"
"Mommy, you're kiddin' me!" when she means "You're killing me!" - A phrase I probably shouldn't have used with her.
When asked when her birthday is Eve responds, "My birfday is 20 May." She's close!
After Mommy and Daddy made a big deal about her poo-poo one night, "Oh my goodness! Vat makes me laugh!"
After storming out of the room mad and being asked why she is leaving, "Because I am!"
While holding an eye patch made of a slice of Kraft cheese to her eye Eve said, "Arr, Matey! Are you ready to walk the plank?" at dinner one night.
After going #2 without much coaxing Eve yelled out, "Daddy, aren't you so proud of me? I knew I could drop a deuce!" (Guess who taught her that phrase!)
Listening to Mommy and Daddy have an intense discussion in the car Eve shouted, "Mommy and Daddy, that is un-mess-essary!"
As I carried Eve from the cart to the car in the Wal-Mart parking lot she said, "Mommy, you are carrying me." I said, "Yeah, I don't much anymore, do I?" She sighed and said, "No, you got a belly-full... A belly-full of baby!"
Waiting outside Cracker Barrell someone asked Eve, "What are you going to be having soon?" (Making reference to Baby Sister.) Eve answered, "A pancake!"
When asked about when her new baby is coming Eve generally tells people, "In two years." Boy, is she in for a shock in a few weeks!

Our baby is a preschooler!

This week Eve started preschool! She is attending a little Head Start school near downtown, has made new friends already, enjoys centers and the playground, and LOVES her teacher! The other boys and girls call her teacher Mr. Jay, but Eve calls him Mr. Daddy. That's right, Eve is in Jay's class this year and things are going well. She had a tough first day because she was really tired from a busy weekend, but is settling in well. I can already tell a difference in her and Daddy says she is enjoying it (and I think he is, too)!

The offical last day...

Of our summer vacation is today. Most years I dread returning to school and leaving the "faux-stay-at-home-mom" life I get to enjoy in the summer. Don't get me wrong, I think I have just about one of the best jobs on earth in one of the best schools, but a part of me will always long to be at home. This year the close of summer is especially bittersweet. This was the last summer with just my "3-member-family." It was the last summer of just one carseat, tables-for-3 in restaurants, and time devoted to only Eve. Next summer will be completely different for all of us so I have worked to savor each day this summer. While the start of school is the end of one, thing, though, it is also the beginning of another... We are less than 9 weeks away from our next baby girl's birth and I can't wait. This pregnancy was far from easy in the beginning, but "baby sister" has graciously taken in easy on me the last couple of months. I can't wait for the days this fall when she and I are home, Daddy and Eve are at school, and I can focus solely on her. I look forward to having her join our family and all those things we will get to experience with her for the first time. Most of all, I just can't wait to her... I wonder if she will look like Eve, have curly hair, how much she will weigh and hear her voice. So, this year I don't look upon the start of school with dread, but see it as a countdown to a new chapter in our lives... and a countdown until the next stretch of time I get to be at home... I guess some things will never change. :)

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

I am proud to say that the long to-do list I created for us at the start of the summer is almost completely checked off! From tidying up the landscaping to cleaning the garage, and from creating both a nursery and a big sister room for our girls to catching up on all scrapbooking, we have really accomplished so much!! It is such a good feeling to begin to feel "ready" for our second baby girl. There is still plenty to be done, but nothing we can't handle and we have done everything I was hoping we would by school's start. It has been a busy, yet productive summer at the Stark house!

July is in Full Swing

It is hard to believe that it is already July 10th! Since my 30th birthday on the first we have been very busy! We spent the 4th with family and had a great day, despite the fact the fireworks were postponed due to storms. On the 5th, Mamaw, PawPaw, Jay, Eve and I left for a week in Alabama. We had a great time visiting extended family!! For the sake of time and space I will just include a few pics to highlight the last two weeks. In the mean time we will continue to try and stay cool and enjoy these lazy days while they last. School will be upon us before we know it and then it won't be long until our Baby Sister arrives

!

The Princess Phase has Arrived!

Eve is officially in the Disney Princess Phase! She would watch "Beauty and the Beast" about 50 times a day, if I would let her! Just yesterday she said, "Mommy, I love Belle. I wish I could just jump in the TV sometimes." I asked, "Why would you want to jump in the TV?" She said, rather matter-of-factly, "So I could be with Belle. She's my friend."
Tonight she asked my help to get dressed up in her Cinderella ball gown. (Grammy got this for Eve's birthday and we just realized tonight that the skirt lights up! Fancy!) Once we got the dress on Eve said, "But, Mary God Mudder! Where are my glass slippers?" I must say that I very much appreciated being the Fairy Godmother tonight... It was certainly a step up from being the Beast yesterday! :)

Happy Father's Day!

To my dad: Sarah, Andrew and I are blessed beyond words to have you for a father! You're the best! I love you and can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks!
To Eve's daddy: Eve (and her yet-to-be-named baby sister) are blessed to have you! Thank you for taking the time to provide, play and love! We love you!!

Growing Up...

Eve is growing up way too fast for me! This week she got a new swingset (thanks to Ms. Beth thinking of us after she inherited one when she bought her new house). She saw it out the window after her nap and said, "Wook, Mommy! My bery own pwayground!!"
On Thursday, Grandad took us to the fair. Eve loved it!! She rode every ride for which she was tall enough with her friend from church, Jenna. She looked like such a big girl bravely walking up, climbing in and enjoying each ride.
Today Eve got her "big sister" bed. We moved the queen-sized bed into her room so that the twin-sized bed could go in the nursery. At first she was distraught thinking she was losing her old bed, but was excited when she saw the new blue bedding and the size of her new bed. She said, "Oh, Mommy! This bed is gonna be HUGE!" She also asked, "When my baby sister comes can she sleep in this bed with me?" I said, "I am sure when she is old enough the two of you will have many sleepovers in this bed!"